Commentary: 59

My birthday was over a week ago. 

I took a long view on how that day would affect me by loading up a photo with the following words: “According to my odometer, I just turned over another year. Not bad for a broken down ol’ jalopy.”

Self-deprecating humor? Of course, it is! You’d think I’m serious by saying something along those lines?

Look, if you can’t make fun or yourself, how in hell can you make fun if the universe? That’s paraphrasing RuPaul, by the way. 

Then, I thought about that photo post. I mean…what if I was a broken down ol’ jalopy? What vehicle would I represent?

Silly question. Perhaps a dive down a rabbit hole into some imaginary journey into the dark, deep crevices of the brain. 

Work with me here, as I try to identify a broken down ol’ jalopy that would be a metaphor to my current state in the flesh.

I came up with this one: A 1964 Plymouth Fury. 

This probably needs some explaining. After design boss Virgil Exner was terminated from Chrysler Corporation, the company needed to change direction design-wise. The last Exner models in 1961 were spurned by consumers as being way over the top. Fins were out and so was the flashiness of the 1950s. 

Then, Exner decided to play a different hand. He heard a rumor that General Motors was going to downsize their lineups. While that rumor was untrue, Exner went ahead and downsized most of the lineup – save for Imperial and the “senior” Dodges. The new overall style was devoid of tailfins and offered sharper lines for Plymouth, the Dodge Dart, and Chrysler models. 

Even though it seemed like a very good idea, customer acceptance was mixed. The cars’ appeal was diminished not due to their size, but their execution that gave the impression to consumers that they were actually buying a “full-sized” sedan. The truth, the size of ther vehicle would be equal to the md-sized models of the next model year. 

The 1964 Plymouth was not exactly a “clean” design, as were contemporary Chevrolets of that year. There were a few twists and turns, some of which date back to the 1962 models. One could say that Chrysler Corporation’s shrunk down full-size cars were starting to show their age in its third model year. 

Most compelling was the “slantback” hardtop coupe roofline and glasshouse profile. That was the most contemporary piece of the 1964 Plymouth’s design. The C-pillar allowed the side glass to taper towards the trunk area. The roof itself basically sat on top of the body in typical 1960s fashion. If you had one of these hardtop two-door models, you were styling above the waistline. 

The interior design was clean with a full-width dashboard adorned with metal finishings. The speedometer was another typical 1960s design with its long “ribbon”-like design and the needle dialing over in an oval fashion. You had a large to-spoke steering wheel with a very thin rim, along with “close-in” placements of the ventilation/heater system and the radio. Sport Fury models had a center console with the shifter in-between bucket seats. Other models had the shifter on the steering column and a full bench seat up front. 

As with many American cars of the era, you had a wide variety of engines to choose from. The Slant-Six was always the thrifty standard choice. From there is a plethora of V8s. The top motor was the 426 cubic-inch Wedge and HEMI. If you were looking to break hearts in your life, you ordered this engine for your 1964 Fury. 

My Fury would be powered by a decent 318 cubic-inch V8 with a three-speed TorqueFlite automatic transmission. Something that would be reliable for the next 59 years. It would’ve been well-maintained for decades until someone forgot to take it in for routine maintenance some years ago. 

The body saw some rust and some dents over time. A few trim pieces went missing over time. The tires need replacing. The upholstery has since ripped in a few places. The heater stopped working. Neither would the radio. 

Believe me, there’s more trouble underneath the hood. It would be too lengthy of a laundry list to go over at this point. Let’s just say “it still runs.” It still goes on living.

Il surprised this car still drives. Yet, it is determined to get from point A to point B one way or another. 

I know that in recent times, I’ve gone through some changes in my life. I’ve seen myself challenged with the effects of a long-term disease and spinal cord issues. My idea of invincibility has been given a revised reality. Yet, my time at the Chicago Auto Show showed my resilience and determination to be there and work. 

Just like that 1964 Plymouth Fury, I still go on living. 

All photos by Randy Stern